How to use Affirmations in your daily life

This is part 3 of our article series about Words That Heal. Read article 1 (75 Powerful Mental Health Quotes) or article 2 (The Science behind Affirmations).

In the last two articles of this series you’ve seen a lot of Mental Health Quotes that can inspire you and I’ve made a pledge for the proven effects of affirmations – basically a post about how positive self-talk can not only change how you see yourself, but also how you go through life and interact with others.

Let’s take a look on how to use affirmations on a day-to-day basis in this post. I want to show you how you can make them work for you in a healthy way, based on community knowledge and scientific discoveries.

In a nutshell, there are two big factors that are important for the success of your affirmations.

On one hand, they have to be tailored to your needs and your expectations of life. On the other hand, they should be embedded into a strong daily routine. With that, they will become your daily companion for a healthy and grounded life.

Affirmations can have a lot of benefits  – there’s plenty of evidence for that. But to make most of them, they should fit you.

This post is all about practical tips, personalized affirmation phrasing and routines that will make affirmations as easy as drinking your morning coffee.

What Makes an Affirmation Truly Work?

Realistic > Idealistic

Let’s look at the biggest lesson from the previous post again: Realistic affirmations work better than idealistic ones, because they don’t bring our brain into a state of cognitive dissonance.

It doesn’t bring any value to use idealistic affirmations. Therefore it’s so important to use realistic ones. Using idealistic, unreal affirmations can even make you frustrated and feel worse.

Instead of saying “I am perfect” just use this phrasing: “I learn to accept myself more every day”. An affirmation like that will pick you up from a place where you really are. They are believable, have a soft-motivating touch to them and don’t overwhelm you. Affirmations like that can bring real change to your life.

Repetition meets Emotion

The more often you do something, the better you get at it. That’s basic knowledge and in line with the current understanding of our brain. Based on that premise we learn and – due to constant repetition – get better at things.

In our head there are billions of neural connections. Some are stronger, some are weaker. Scientists often compare the strength of those connections with streets. Some “brain-connections” are wide highways, others are only small paths. When a child has to learn a poem for example, at the first repetition there is nothing.

After time and constant re-learning of the same sentences, a path begins to form. With additional repetition, the path becomes a wider street and when the child is ready to present the poem in front of class, the path is already a big, wide motorway.

Here comes the catch: This principle doesn’t only apply to learning things for school or uni – it also applies to our self-talk. 

When we reassure and speak nicely about ourselves, those connections will become stronger and after some time the neural connections for negative self-talk will fade away. 

Therefore, a big part of making affirmations work is repetition. 

For me, personally, this means setting fixed times or places where I repeat my affirmation everyday. Good places to start are post-its close to your bed or reminders on your smartphone. 

Triggers & Timing

Our brain has times where it’s especially receptive for new ideas and affirmations. When we are yearning for security, clarity or encouragement, affirmations can act as emotional first aid.

Let’s take a look at some time frames, where affirmations will work nicely for many people.

In the mornings, after waking up: In the first hours of the day, our brain is in a so-called “alpha state”. The canvas is still empty and a short affirmation like “I start the day with calmness and clarity” can be a mental anchor and set the base-emotion for the day.

After emotional triggers: You just received an uncomfortable message or you feel overwhelmed? Instead of automatically going into self-critique, tell yourself: “I am allowed to use as much time as I need for processing my feelings” – stops the negative spiral, gives room for self-regulation.

While looking into a mirror: “I’m never alone, I have myself”. By the way: The mirror is a great place to put a post-it with a mantra like that. It can have a huge positive influence over time.

Before going into a challenging situation: Let’s say you have a date, a presentation or just a hard talk – “I am allowed to be nervous and still make it.” brings you into the right mood.

Of course, oftentimes it’s also mundane situations like brushing your teeth, preparing dinner or while walking to work where affirmations can work wonders.

It’s all about finding the right routine for yourself where you know you’ll be able to stick to it over a longer period of time.

5 Simple Affirmation Routines You Can Try Today

1. The Morning Mirror Ritual

“I’m here, I’m growing, and that’s enough for today.”

In the mornings, we often fall into the trap of the cortisol awakening response (Link zu Erklärung). It’s our body’s way to wake us up and bring us into an alert, active state fast. Unfortunately, cortisol can also stress us out and lead to a flare-up of morning anxiety. Here’s where this ritual comes in. Repeat the mantra for up to 2 full minutes in the morning to tell your body: We are waking up, but we don’t need to worry about anything too much. Let’s sail through the day smoothly with self-compassion.

2. The Phone Reminder Hack

Use the Automation-Tools of your phone to come in contact with your affirmations throughout the day. Good tips are automated reminders, wallpapers with affirmations or Affirmation Widgets from the App Store. In this case, short and compact mantras work the best, e.g.: “Breathe. You are doing great.”

3. The Move & Whisper

When I was still in highschool, I used to walk through all the rooms in our house while learning. I somehow noticed that concepts tended to “stick” better if I was moving. We can use that to work with our affirmations more effectively. Instead of just standing still or sitting, go for a walk or bike-ride and repeat your affirmation throughout the whole session. I can guarantee you: The mantra will stay in your brain for hours after it.

4. The Post-It-Project

Post-Its are the favorite tool for everyone who takes their affirmation-routines seriously. Add some reassuring post-its with quotes or mantras to your mirrors and some motivational affirmations next to the place where you prepare your breakfast. Positive things you see often will automatically bring positive change to your days without you actively noticing it.

5. The Wearable Reminder

What about a Hoodie or Shirt with a nice quote? Let your clothing be your silent partner in crime when it comes to affirmations! Check out our big collection on mental health pieces (Link: https://youdecidewhoyouare.com/collections/mental-health)

Guide: How To Create Your Own Affirmations (That Will Actually Stick)

Let’s look at a simple and straightforward 3-step-way to creating your own affirmations.

Recognize weakness

Recognize a thing in your life where you feel insecure about. Be it the work you do, your appearance, your social life or something else. Deep down you know best which things unsettle you.

Formulate a goal

What’s a realistic goal for this particular thing? Let’s take a look at a classic example: You feel uneasy when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. In the realm of affirmations and mantras, a good goal wouldn’t be to change your appearance. It would be to change how you think about yourself. Set a goal on how you want to see yourself in 6 or 12 months from now.

Use positive language

After you recognize the thing that makes you feel uneasy and formulate a goal, the last thing is to use positive language to create a mantra that you will use over the next months. In our example, a good mantra would be: “I am valuable and loveable as I am. I am learning to accept my body.”

Affirmation Inspiration: 20 Daily Statements to Try

Self-Acceptance

1. I can show myself as I am – without a mask, without pressure.

2. My value doesn’t depend on my performance.

3. I learn to love myself also on days where I don’t feel my best.

4. I’m not perfect – and that’s what makes me human.

5. I’m on my own journey, at my own speed.

Focus

6. What counts today is only the next step, not the whole goal

7. I let go of distractions and give my attention to the present.

8. My focus is my compass – I let it decide which way to go.

9. I don’t have to do everything at once. One thing after the other is enough.

10. Clarity comes when I give myself time.

Healing

11. I’m ready to deal with my old wounds tenderly.

12. Healing isn’t a goal – it’s a process that’s growing within me.

13. Every breath can be the start of something new.

14. I can feel safe, even if I’m not done yet.

15. My pain doesn’t define me – my strength does.

Strength

16. I have already accomplished a lot – I can trust myself.

17. Courage doesn’t mean to have no anxiety – it means continuing even though it’s there.

18. Within me there’s a power that’s bigger than every doubt.

19. I grow through challenges, not through ease.

20. I always pick myself up again – no matter how hard it was.

FAQ: What people ask about daily Affirmation practices

When is the best time to use Affirmations?

As you’ve probably noticed in this article, there are some times that are more beneficial for affirmations than others. This can be in the mornings, when your mind is still blank or in times of emotional unrest. Your brain is especially receptive for new information in these timeframes.

Can I use the same Affirmation every day?

Definitely. Using the same affirmation routinely makes sense because repetitions will make thoughts stick to your head better. Repeating a positive thought every day will form a strong neural connection in your brain. Oftentimes, this can make negative thoughts weaker.

Is it weird to talk to myself?

For some people it can be weird to use affirmations and “talk to themselves”. However, everyone is talking to themselves all the time. We just don’t hear the inner monologue of others. The strength or “loudness” of the inner monologue surely differs from person to person, but there’s probably no one on this planet that has no inner voice. So it would be weirder to not talk to yourself than doing it. It’s a way of describing situations and experiences to yourself.

How long does it take until Affirmations work?

There is no definitive answer to that. The more often you’ll repeat your mantras, the easier it will be for you to recall them from your head. Also, what’s the definition of a “working affirmation”? Is it if you can remember it with ease or is it when you feel better emotionally? You may notice after some time that you will feel better and the repeating of positive mantras will feel good and let out some feel-good-endorphins.

You are becoming your best ally

In this article, you’ve read how you can make affirmations work for you in the best way possible.

While many endeavours in today’s world are about reaching a certain goal or being the most productive, let’s try to make this exercise more about self-love and the good feeling of repeating something positive. 

There’s no “end goal” of using an affirmation. It’s an exercise and habit that can make you be more at ease and relaxed when going through the daily struggle.

Don’t forget to check our other articles in this series!